Insomnia

Maybe I'm a bit more anxious about today's cardiologist appointment than I thought. I've been awake since 3 a.m.

In my mind I have continually felt like the heart surgery is still months away but then it struck me last night, Alexis is just days away from being 5 months old and if they want to have the surgery done by the time she's 6 months old...they could very well tell us to bring her in next week for the surgery. I know it's pointless to stress about this kind of thing. "Put it in God's hands!" I keep trying to tell myself that, but easier said than done. Anxiety is exhausting! Thank God I have so much family available to me to help out with watching the boys. I can't imagine if on top of the stress of getting Alexis through this surgery and hospitalization, I also had to worry about the boys and getting kids to and from school and activities. I am SO blessed!

And speaking of anxiety, I may have to stop watching the news. All you hear about any more is this swine flu! Ugh! I usually have the mindset that the media is only going to make things sound worse than they are...never better. But you can't help but hear these numbers of how many people are going to be affected, how many people could die... I called the pediatrician's office yesterday to see about getting the flu shot but they don't have it in yet. I think I may take the kids over to the CVS minute clinic tomorrow and all 3 of us can get our shots. I'll buy them some tootsie pops first and they should be just fine. If not, we're off to the dollar store. I've never taken them there before, but what could be better for a 4 and 5 year old than to walk into a store and be told, "pick out anything you want and I'll buy it for you." My parents never said that to me when I was a kid. So I must love my kids more than they loved me.

Hmmmm....4:35 now. What to do, what to do...