A Wireless Moment

I had to snap pictures fast today while we had a couple tube-free moments (or as my Dad would say, "she's gone wireless!"). The goofy grin leads me to believe she enjoyed her moment of freedom.

Yesterday's x-ray looked great and she was therefore increased to 3 bottle or breast feeds a day and her continuous tube feed is up to 20mL. She's had a couple little spit up episodes, but nothing significant or concerning. She is still at 6 lbs, 9 oz.

Saturday I'll be in Kokomo for my nephew's birthday party. I'll probably leave early to head back to the hospital Saturday evening. Sunday I'll hit the hospital early in the morning because we have to be in Elkhart by 4 for my nieces' birthday party. I'll leave the boys in Elkhart with the folks and will drive home Monday so I can be at the hospital Monday evening. As I write this, I know it sounds rediculous. I am probably at that hospital more than any other parent. I'm lucky to have the luxury of family help and a short drive and I'm not currently working, making my daily visits possible. I know that Alexis would be fine if I didn't go to the hospital for one day, but I can't do it. If for some reason I physically was unable to go, then fine. I wouldn't like it, but fine. But if I can go every day, then I'm going to go every day. I can't bring myself to not be there. I drive myself nuts with the question of, "should I be spending more time with the boys?" and maybe I should. But I need to be with Alexis, too. I rationalize it to myself by knowing that Nicholas and Blake are still, most days anyway, still seeing me as much as they would if I were working a full time job. I guess right now Alexis is my full time job. Can't wait until our nursery becomes my home office...